i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
