Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
