Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
