and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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