Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
