Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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