Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The adults are the big ones right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
