Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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