Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
