and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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