Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
