I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
