it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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