do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
