Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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