it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need to sanitize my soul.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
