Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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