sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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