Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
