You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize