How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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