this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
