Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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