I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize