Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
