oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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