Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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