My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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