fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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