he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
