We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
