What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
