8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
did you just send me my own nude
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
