what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
