all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I fill condoms, not promises.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
