sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
