I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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