Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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