last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
