Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
