I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize