is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
