Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
