wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
