I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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