i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
