Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
