Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
