I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
