every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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