I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
