OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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