why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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