"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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