But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
