She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
