fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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