omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
