and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is that strawberry winking at me??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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