I wish my penis had an off switch
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
