Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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